STRIVE TO HAVE aground my ego (PART 1)

An effort should I do when three years ago, before I accepted the offer to become small-time leader. I tried to appeal to God with prayers Istikharah and always pray to get a clue. But I was aware of any flaws, weaknesses, many of my sins. Thus, by the time I get a hint with three consecutive nights - also dreamed something bad, scary, and disgusting, I'm less sure and no doubt in my mind would dream. I consider that a dream that I was experiencing was a result of mostly sleeping, or exhaustion. Which in the end I always rely on reason and logic alone. I feel able to face all challenges will I face forward, for the purposes of my best that it can be changed for something better. Though some quarters and my friends had given warning, and also the expression of a somewhat cynical and a little pessimistic about my resolve, with mengatakah "want to see it ... a strong, how long you can last in there?"

Armed with little experience and actually about three years I've known the neighborhood, and to know the character of the people there, in the end I accepted the offer, and I began removing moves I ever got from a few years (exactly 15 year) I was dabbling in the world that it was not strange to me.

Initially run smoothly, some of the things that make a wedge and internal problems can be solved piecemeal. I made a deal with teamku, which in essence there must be unity, because what is heavy it will feel lighter when done together. I will always be in the front line in any case, as long as both aim to benefit the people. I will try to appreciate every drop of sweat from teamku members. I will defend my team so far they feel depressed, not getting their rights. I started with after finish of administration and programming. Because without a plan the program, we will not be able melangkan clearly about where we are headed and what goals we get.

First and second year there are significant changes, can be viewed in terms of physical and non physical. My boss trusted me, my team also find it helpful. The things that become the burden and constraints can be solved. Sistempun little by little, I change the direction of a clear and beneficial to all parties as you wish the team and it has become the standard rules in accordance with the guidelines and operational guidelines. While there are some things that's really very unusual and unnatural from my boss, but I'm still trying to react calmly. I always tried to cheer the team that I strive for. And I tried to convince them that someday we too will succeed.

We work with relationships involving cross-sectoral and cross-institution which basically has no standard rules and very clear, but there are violated on the grounds that are not fundamental. Even so I always try to not dismantle the existing irregularities to outside parties. I tried to cover up, as if there are no significant problems within the while trying to fix it. I tried to give examples of each type of work, with the hopes of those who become this team can replicate and continue in accordance with the job / share respectively. Each activity and program me to make a clear proposal. But what I wonder, my team was not able to follow the plan and could not run the program, but it's all very simple and has become a standard in any institution. Which in the end I always worked alone, plus facilities and inadequate infrastructure make me feel much more tired.

Working facilities should be provided or held by agencies, not too satisfied with the reasons that are unclear, and must go through a very complex bureaucracy, but my position is the leader as well as manager at the agency, but everything remains the controlling owner in an institution rather than an appointed leader structural like me.

Some equipment had to I had to work with his own. Incidentally at home I have a crappy VCD Player, I had to take it. I also use my personal computer to store all data and I pake institutions to work day and night without electricity cost calculation. I was embarrassed when following training to use a laptop, I always have to borrow to a friend. Finally I was desperate to pawn the letter motor bad I need to buy a netbook for my institution. To upload the data through the internet I also use my slow modem. This is all I do is not for nothing but to fight for my institution which according to some circles, before I hold it in unsanitary conditions. I still hear the motto that has always emphasized when I was in school first, that if the fight do not hesitate. Property, energy, thoughts, if necessary with their lives.

Entering its third year, has started there is less conducive turmoil. I am aware of all the weaknesses and flaws, but I'm still at the initial intention to provide positive change. Team that had already began to break up solid. So many tasks that should I finish it yourself ....

(Wait for the sequel ... ..)